Do it anyway

It’s been a while since our holiday in SA. Nadia and Anandi voted going to the beach as the best part. Nadia added after some thought “and the people”.

It’s difficult for me to go en let go when we move around, but we do it anyway. The one thing that makes it worthwhile is “the people”. It was a joy to see our SA family and friends. Apologies to those we could not meet – time constraints only. And yes, all the visits were too short. Our friends in India helped us to return with joy in our hearts too.

Ivan danced to the Punjabi tune on the taxi driver’s cellphone (car radio was broken) as though it was the best thing he has heard in five weeks. The rest of us felt miserable, hot and tired. But there was no time for moping, because we had to move to a new house. In one week we found one, lost it and kept the old place. In the process we got rid of and packed most of our stuff, moved our whole home around and unpacked. It was more difficult than these few words can explain, but we did it anyway.

I am glad to be back in a routine and to find time to stay in touch with “our loved ones” – everywhere. I wonder what this next period in India has in store for us.

I wrote a small verse about my expectations:
Whatever may come our way,
each and every day,
we want to follow Jesus anyway
- I don’t mind what others say –
because He did it for “all the people” anyway.

The verse below is credited to Mother Teresa.
“People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered. Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives. Be kind anyway.
If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies. Succeed anyway.
If you are honest and sincere people may deceive you. Be honest and sincere anyway.
What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight. Create anyway.
If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous. Be happy anyway.
The good you do today will often be forgotten. Do good anyway.
Give the best you have, and it will never be enough. Give your best anyway.
In the final analysis, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway.”

How I do it

So how do I do it? How do I homeschool two daughters, care for Ivan, keep the home tidy, work on toddler software and stay in touch with family and friends? The truth is I don’t. Many days I don’t manage to do it all. Does not being able to do everything every day, mean I am failing or should I give up, because there are easier options available? I have seriously considered this many times. But then I keep asking myself this question: what if I don’t give up and just try again the next day?

The odds are definitely against me. I am sleep-deprived. I am “exclusively breast-feeding” Ivan for the past 5 months (serious energy crisis). Homeschooling offers a whole range of challenges. I am the only mother homeschooling around here for 100’s of miles (no support). It took time and a few brain cells (they seem to be missing these days) to find ways to work around practical homeschool problems. Trying to compete with Ivan’s strong voice while shouting words like “Gluteus Maximus” at the top of my lungs does not work (Ivan starts crying and the distracted girls don’t hear anyway). Reading while he sleeps and giving the girls writing assignments while he’s awake works better. Except for the days when he has a 15-minute power nap and wakes up all smiles and laughs and is “sooo cute” (a phrase we hear many times when we walk in the streets). I work on the software when the girls are in bed, Ivan is asleep for a while and my eyes are not closing all the time (difficult combination to find many days). Of course you all know how badly I did at staying in touch (blush). All these things (and the hormones of course) make me feel depressed some days – a very painful, lonely feeling.

But what counts in my favor? I serve a God who loves me unconditionally. I have two wonderful, understanding, helpful daughters and a supportive husband. I have understanding, caring, praying family and friends. I have Raj to help me keep the home tidy. I have this idea in my head, that it is a passing phase and things will become easier at some point. I also realize that things can be much worse and I am thankful and content for all the opportunities and things I have.
So I am never, ever, ever, ever, ever going to give up – if I say this long enough it will get stuck in my head and I won’t give up. Anyway, what else will I be doing with my time?

The gift

Anandi comes up to me one day shortly after Ivan’s birth and says “Thank you, Mom.” Now when Anandi says that without being polite it usually means trouble. Like “Thank you for the ladybirds I can keep in my room (on a plant, not a in a box!)” or “Thank you for the pack of biscuits I’ve just finished”. So, I suspiciously ask “For what?” She answers, “You know, for the baby.” It has been an amazing journey for us to receive Ivan into our family. We are thankful to finally hold him in our arms. He is very sweet, sleeps most of the night and is growing by the hour it seems – already above 5 kg after 8 weeks. He is also interacting with us with smiles and little noises (loud and impolite ones too!).

As Christmas is nearing I am thinking of the message it proclaims: God gave His Son. I cannot imagine giving my son for anyone, but God gave His Son for everyone. Why would a loving God and Father do that? It was only for love’s sake. He knows each person he created will make mistakes along the way. To stay true to His character He had to punish us. So to save us from His wrath – that we cannot survive – He punished His own Son in our place. I already got my Christmas gift this year, the gift of a son, Ivan. Long ago I accepted the gift from God, His Son, who gave me a new life. I hope you will accept it too.

Thank you for all the letters we received. I hope to reply to each. I am still struggling to find the time and energy to do all I’ve done before Ivan’s birth. But I don’t try too hard, because I love spending time with him. If this letter does not make sense, it’s because a really tired person wrote it J.

“I love these little people;
and it is not a slight thing when they,
who are so fresh from God, love us.”

- Charles Dickens

3,2,1 ...

The kids started their countdown from 150 and we are now at 3 nights before we welcome baby into our home. I am going for a cesarean on Friday morning. It's very special for us that al three our children will be born in India, at the same hospital with the same doctor with a period of 7 years and 4 moves in between. Please pray that everything will go well in Friday and that we will be able to come home soon.

In the mean time Nadia became 10 and Anandi became 7 years old. The weather finally sizzled down after a very long, hot summer. After experiencing some back pain, the children and I decided to join a swimming club for almost 2 months. It was just what I needed to cool down and feel as light as a feather. The zoo is doing well too. Happy and Lucky are big and naughty. Squirt got a new fish tank as home and discovered ways to ask for food if we are too slow. We almost had baby birds too, but they did not make it - that was almost a relieve. In our garden we've discovered bees, giant bats, monkeys, chipmunks, a snake, rats, etc. Stephan is going to write a book one day called "Hunting domestic animals".

I find life in India more and more harsh. I see more selfishness, hardness and arrogance. It is difficult to be different, when you feel bullied all the time. But God asks of us to bear His fruit like love, patience, friendliness, humbleness and selfcontrol. He also gives us the power through His Holy Spirit to do this. But I still blow my horn sometimes and I want to hit back when someone tries to harm me in some way. It's a daily struggle, but what a difference it would make if someone decides not to hit back any more, but rather turn the other cheek and forgive. I hope to become more and more like Jesus.

"But whenever anyone turns to the Lord, the veil is taken away. Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord's glory, are being transformed into his likeness with everincreasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit." - 2 Cor. 3:16-18, The Bible.

Adventure in the mountains

It has been too long since I've written anything, but here I am again.

Happy and Lucky are growing and are starting to challenge Nadia and Anandi about who's really the boss. It is great fun to watch the competition. The dogs found an Indian tent water turtle in our yard. It is still a mystery where he came from. So now we have another pet named, Squirt. It was a bit of a problem trying to figure out what to feed it, until Stephan shot a fly into his bucket. Squirt took the bait immediately. So he is a carnivore and loves insects. You can imagine the fun the kids have with Stephan catching insects and the look of horror on my face whenever I accidentally look into the bucket at feeding time. Yes, the whole zoo came back this summer and we are fighting to keep them outside.

On Saturday we went to Kasauli. We know it is a risk traveling in India while pregnant, but we needed to get out of hot Chandigarh (above 40 each day). This time we discovered a trail we've never seen before, the Gilbert Nature Trail. The board did not tell us how long the trail is and if it will bring us back to Kasauli, but being adventurers, we started walking. It went on and on and so did we. It became very hot and we almost finished all the water we had. After about 3 km we realized there's no circle route, we had to go back the same way. But there was a thunderstorm brewing above us. Far below we saw a gravel road that went in the direction of Kasauli. In the mean time an old man, who probably lived his whole life in the mountains, caught up with us and warned us that the weather was very bad and threatened us with very big hailstones. He invited us to stay with him, but his house was also far away. Kasauli was about 6km away. There was a town in sight and we ask him if we could buy water or Coke there. No, they don't need bottled water or Coke there. So we had little choice but to get out under the trees, risk the steep, slippery road over the pine needles and go down to the gravel road heading back to Kasauli. In the mean time thunder was crashing around us and it started to rain. But it only lasted about 10 minutes. It did not solve our water problem though. The rain cooled down the temperature quite a bit, but we were thirsty. At the point I thought I couldn't give one more step, we saw a shop with a fridge and all the water we needed for the rest of the trip. We walked nearly 12km on Saturday.

God got all the honor for our safe arrival at the car. We had an interesting discussing, about how the events of the day convinced the kids that God is real. Most people I know belief God is real, but many of them struggle to believe that He cares about us and the problems we face each day. I belief He does, even the very small details. A day like Saturday, was the perfect reminder of that fact.

God: "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you." - Heb 13:5.