How I do it

So how do I do it? How do I homeschool two daughters, care for Ivan, keep the home tidy, work on toddler software and stay in touch with family and friends? The truth is I don’t. Many days I don’t manage to do it all. Does not being able to do everything every day, mean I am failing or should I give up, because there are easier options available? I have seriously considered this many times. But then I keep asking myself this question: what if I don’t give up and just try again the next day?

The odds are definitely against me. I am sleep-deprived. I am “exclusively breast-feeding” Ivan for the past 5 months (serious energy crisis). Homeschooling offers a whole range of challenges. I am the only mother homeschooling around here for 100’s of miles (no support). It took time and a few brain cells (they seem to be missing these days) to find ways to work around practical homeschool problems. Trying to compete with Ivan’s strong voice while shouting words like “Gluteus Maximus” at the top of my lungs does not work (Ivan starts crying and the distracted girls don’t hear anyway). Reading while he sleeps and giving the girls writing assignments while he’s awake works better. Except for the days when he has a 15-minute power nap and wakes up all smiles and laughs and is “sooo cute” (a phrase we hear many times when we walk in the streets). I work on the software when the girls are in bed, Ivan is asleep for a while and my eyes are not closing all the time (difficult combination to find many days). Of course you all know how badly I did at staying in touch (blush). All these things (and the hormones of course) make me feel depressed some days – a very painful, lonely feeling.

But what counts in my favor? I serve a God who loves me unconditionally. I have two wonderful, understanding, helpful daughters and a supportive husband. I have understanding, caring, praying family and friends. I have Raj to help me keep the home tidy. I have this idea in my head, that it is a passing phase and things will become easier at some point. I also realize that things can be much worse and I am thankful and content for all the opportunities and things I have.
So I am never, ever, ever, ever, ever going to give up – if I say this long enough it will get stuck in my head and I won’t give up. Anyway, what else will I be doing with my time?